There are a lot of pieces of scripture you hear and say over and over as a missionary. Romans 12 is one of them, and much like my ever-changing take on John 15, now that I’m home I’ve been struck by the meaning of these words. I’m also struck by the fact that this scripture was a large part of two sermons and Jerry’s presentation, all of which I’ve heard in less than a week, sometimes twice. In fact, I’d write my sermon for next week on this passage if it hadn’t been a the sermon scripture for last week at my church and the scripture lesson this morning at First Baptist. It says…
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, Holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will. -NIV
I feel like every time I heard or read those words during Quito Quest that the focus is so much on verse 1. And in living the rest, that’s what occurs. But especially after looking over my last couple of entries (which are gloomier than I intended, but maybe not as far from the truth in that regard than I pretend) and Sarah and Angela’s responses to those, I see the first half of verse 2 as a Command of Hope.
Wanting to be that “Fruit tree in Elizabeth City” and having doubts and fears and feelings of uselessness, I feel not compelled but Commanded “Do not conform.” I am not the same person as I was when I stepped on a place in May, and being one of those “people with the suitcases,” it’s my responsibility to use what I know and have experienced to benefit those around me, and also to keep check on myself that I am set apart from this world and its patterns, habits, and desires.
I think I know one of the reasons that it’s so hard for anyone to adjust to life at home after the on-field aspect of a short term mission. Something I wrote in my journal this afternoon was that, at least for me, it seems like I’m waiting for God to set a situation in front of me and say “Here you go, Danny. Be fruitful with this.” And maybe that’s because there are so many of those when you are so engaged in missions. Or maybe it’s that you’re just so much more open to and aware of them.
Being useful in life here isn’t a response to a situation, it’s an attitude and an outlook, totally independent of whether we have a certain service at a certain time or fully functional lungs and back muscles. And whenever I’m pessimistic about any of that, worried about fitting, I can know that I truly am transformed by my time in Ecuador, and be confident as the renewing of my spirit continues.
Danny,
I think you’re right when you talk about being useful here. It is an attitude that allows you to be ready when a situation does arise that requires a response, and an outlook that focuses more on God’s will than my will. I tried to explain to Mike my desire to maintain that feeling of enthusiasm and purpose that I have when I’m in Ecuador. He explained that even Jesus and the disciples had to come down from the mountain. I think you described it best when you wrote in your blog about breakfast. Like you, I want to be excited each day to see what God has in store for me. It’s easier in Ecuador because each day is filled with such purpose, but I’m going to try to find that excitement and purpose here. Thanks for the blog. You have a way of putting into words some of the things I am thinking. I’m glad you’re feeling better.