My sister-in-law is never ready when my brother pulls the car up to a drive-through. She has to look at the menu for a while and think. So the interaction at the drive-through speaker typically goes like this.
Employee: Good afternoon, may I take your order?
My brother: We’ll need just a moment.
Employee: Ok, order when you’re ready.
(after a minute Caitlin figures out what she wants)
My brother: Ok, I’m ready.
(everybody finally proceeds)
My nephew is nearly four, and he has heard this series of phrases many, many times. He has learned that the process of getting. his. food. doesn’t really start until someone says “I’m ready.” This has started to cause a problem for my brother. He has to keep Quentin in the far back on the passenger side of the car and make sure all the windows are rolled up, because upon pulling up to the speaker, Quentin now just starts yelling “I”m ready! I’m ready!” My brother just smiles and rolls his eyes a little bit. And I have to think that sometimes, when I forget that God’s time is just a little bit different than ours, when I think “I’m tired, I want things to move a little faster, I’M READY!!!!” that God smiles and rolls his eyes at me a little bit, and continues to love me even when I just don’t quite get the process.
Category: Family
Roll Over and Eat an Avocado
Much as I’m ready for the pandemic to be over, I’ve enjoyed getting to spend some time at my brother’s house during all of this. It has meant a lot of playing with my nephew, Quentin, and my niece, Riley. They’re almost 2 years old, and 5 months old, respectively. And while I was around, Riley hit some milestones. We’ve been waiting for a while for her to roll over. She was soooo close for a while, and this week she finally did it. She also got to try a solid(ish) food a couple days ago. She ate an avocado. Although “ate” is a strong word. “Smashed around in the general vicinity of her mouth” might be more accurate. The avocado “eating” in particular, though, was so momentous that it was worthy of a Zoom call including both sets of grandparents. When she did something approximating taking a bite of it, her grandmothers would both cheer aloud and tell her what a good job she was doing. She mostly just frowned, but kept on gnawing at it with those baby gums.
My accomplishments seem smaller lately. Everything takes longer. Everything has to be done from behind a screen. I feel like what I get done is about as impressive as eating an avocado. And yet, where Riley is in life, that is a big deal. As Ecclesiastes (and Pete Seeger, and The Byrds), tells us, there is a season for everything. And if we keep reading past those 8 more famous verses, the chapter seems to get less blunt and more encouraging when it tells us that we don’t see the big picture, but God does, and he has made everything (and “everything” includes us!) suitable for its time.
May you feel suited to the uniqueness of this time. And may you celebrate your accomplishments. Even if it’s rolling over and eating an avocado.
Keep the Faith; don’t hit the wall
My Grandpa used to stand in the driveway and wave when people left his house. And good Catholic that he was, he’d shout at them as they pulled down the driveway “Keep the faith!” Grandpa’s house sat pretty far back from the street, and there was a concrete wall that ran beside the long, twisty driveway. And just after anyone shifted their car into reverse and started to move, he’d suddenly remember to warn them and shout “Don’t hit the wall!” I think more than a few rear bumpers had lasting impressions from visits to Grandpa Bill’s house. My lasting impression was of those two phrases bellowed back-to-back at departing loved ones and vehicles. “Keep the faith… DON’T HIT THE WALL!”
There are days in this time of isolation where I hit the metaphorical wall of boredom. Or loneliness. Or frustration over One More Thing being canceled. But like the exiled people of God (who still had to wait through their “70 years”), we are heard by God, and promised that he’s still here and at work. Keep the faith. Don’t hit the wall.
Remember Your Baptism
As a staff at Soapstone, we have been reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. From the first chapter, it has sparked a lot of conversations both about how we are mindful of our faith in everyday activities, but also about having intentionality in all aspects of worship.
I have used many of her examples about Baptism in the last few weeks as I have taught Confirmation and UMYF, and led discussions on missions. The call to Remember our Baptism keeps bringing me back to living in Gaujaló and working at Emaús. At Emaús, the Baptismal font lives right next to the door so it’s easy to touch the water and be mindful of it upon entering for work or worship. When Lourdes was the priest in charge here, she would end every single service by sending water flying with a metal “flinger.” I’m sure there’s some ecclesiastical term* for it, but “flinger” really gives you a picture of what happened. Because Lourdes has an arm. I think she missed her calling as a softball pitcher. When that water was flung at the face, it hurt. You couldn’t help but remember your Baptism.
Lourdes used to use the same flinger, or sometimes a branch, to send water all over the place when she would bless a house for someone who had just moved in (including when her own family and I moved into the house above the tienda). The blessing of the household was a reminder that God is present with us not just in the church building, but all throughout his creation, even what we consider the mundane. My friend (and star youth ministry volunteer) Sylvia remarked recently that her biggest monthly expense is rent, so in being mindful of how she uses her resources, she tries to find ways to use her home as a place of fellowship to glorify God, and I’ve appreciated that reminder as well.
There have been two Baptisms of small children since I’ve been at Soapstone. The first was of an infant who looked over his mothers shoulder the whole time trying to see the font. He wiggled and squirmed quietly, not trying to escape, but trying to get in the water. He just wanted to dive right into the water if Baptism. The second was an elementary-aged girl who seemed very skeptical as Pastor Laura began drenching her, but began to smile as the words of blessing were spoken over her. You could see in the change of her expression the way she was beginning to give in to what God was already doing.
At different times in my own life, I would describe both of those reactions as “mood.”
There’s nothing special about the water in the font, or on the flinger, or on my face or the wall of a home. But there’s a reminder in seeing and touching and hearing it splash of the fellowship and the Grace that we get to live into every day. And writing this post four feet from the font and ten feet from my team members, I’m excited I get to live into that with a new group at one of my favorite places for another week.
*Turns out when I looked this up, even the Catholic supply stores refer to the “flinger” as a “Holy Water Sprinkler.”
Celebrating
Last night we got to celebrate a little bit that I got a new job. What’s really cool about this is that most of the people celebrating were somewhat disappointed that I won’t be coming back to Youth World full time, and yet they were living out our summer motto of “People over Projects” by joining me in my excitement over what’s next. I’m really pumped to be joining the Soapstone UMC family, but I am truly going to miss this group of people that dives fearlessly into life and ministry together, knowing that the kind of people who wind up at Youth World are only ever here for a season.
And by the way… sometimes “celebrating” in Ecuador just means going to the BK Lounge.
French Toast and Crazies
The very first night when I had moved in with Lourdes and her family back in October, she told me the hers was a “casa de locos,” a house full of crazies. And just to be clear, as I move forward with this post, I’m going to totally agree with that in a very loving way.
This morning I rolled out of bed at 5:45am to quickly get ready, head out the door, be on one of the first moving Troles, and be at Lourdes’ before breakfast. I wanted to make french toast (which as I mentioned yesterday, they’ve been begging me to do), but I didn’t want them to be counting on it in case I totally slept in, so I gave them absolutely no warning that this was my intention.
Fast forward to 8:27am. Marta and I have successfully loaded up a plate full of french toast on the table. The two of us are eating with Jose, who has closed the tienda downstairs to join us. Jose is poking his sister-in-law Marta with a fork like they’re both about 5 as opposed to 50. Lourdes (who has already eaten at lightning speed) is running around in high heels looking for her notebook, which she has clearly left in plain sight on the table. Adrian is wearing flip-flops, pajama pants, and a parka, listening to English metal bands and playing a computer game.
No wonder my facebook statuses have gotten so much more boring since I’m living up north again.
Pictured below is Marta making french toast. She’s being trying to teach me to cook Ecuadorian food for four months. I can’t begin to tell you how hard she laughed when I told her “Yo voy a hacer french toast. Quieres aprender?”
Eating Like a Cat
I really appreciate when people from home have a good grasp of some of the differences between life here and life in the United States. I got an e-mail tonight from a friend of mine who quoted a statistic she’d read, which I’m sure would be just as accurate if changed to Ecuador: “In Costa Rica the average family consumes less meat than the average house cat eats in the United States.” Among other things, my friend went on to note how funny it was to think of me eating less meat than Sophie (my cat). At one point in time, I’d probably have ranted about that being incredibly sad as opposed to funny. Now, I’m still telling you that that statistic is sad, but I’ll admit anyway that the image itself is pretty funny as well, mostly because of some of my experiences.
There are several times that I can think of at which I’m 100% sure my cat was consuming more meat than me for weekends or weeks at a time because of the places where I was serving. In fact, for good chunks of time while I was living with an Ecuadorian family, there were probably even longer stretches than that.
When the Quito Quest interns helped put on a Vacation Bible School for Huaorani kids in the jungle community of Toñampare in June 2008, I can’t begin to explain to you how excited we were at the rare meals where we had eggs. Those were the main source of protein that went into our meals that week, and the only time we ate any meat for those seven days (eight days for some of us) were the totally random parts of chicken we might be lucky enough to get in our soup. Jerry kept getting heads and talons and odd organs (see this recent related post by my friend Dana), and the poor guy probably didn’t actually consume any of that chicken.
The difference between us and the Huaorani was that Chet Williams had several bags of beef jerky that he’d dole out to the guys every couple of nights after our devotions and debrief (and after the girls had left… we totally didn’t tell them either). More than just having “man time” with a comfort food (I can see my mom cringing at my description of beef jerky as “comfort food”), we were giving our bodies something closer to the level of those specific nutrients that they were used to, and our brains the reassurance of consuming (something that was vaguely) meat.
Even in situations that aren’t as extreme and isolated as an indigenous community that lives 30 minutes into the jungle by airplane, things are certainly different here on the food front. Let’s say that you are a single mother who makes just a few hundred dollars a month and has five kids, with no husband/dad in the picture. That’s a very typical family situation here. And in that situation, you end up eating a lot of rice and a lot of eggs. After you pay your rent and clothe your kids, those are cheap ways to get full and get protein, respectively.
Eating with Ecuadorian church communities and/or families, I’ve caught myself thinking on several occasions “Where’s the main course here?” and realizing that despite there being a large amount of food in front of me, I wasn’t thinking of it as a complete meal because there was no chicken, beef, or pork. And it took me until even writing this very paragraph to realize how cultural that is. The same way that Ecuadorians don’t consider a sandwich a meal (there is no fork involved, thus it doesn’t count), my own conceptions about what constitutes a meal come from my personal cultural background.
In fact, if I manage to wake up early enough in the morning to make it to Guajalo at a reasonable hour for breakfast, I’m going to make French Toast for Lourdes and her family (apparently Carrie did this and it made quite an impression, and they’ve been begging me for about a week to repeat the experience). I’m intentionally not going to buy bacon on the way just as a reminder to myself about my own unintentional cultural prejudices, about the need here, and about how good I have it. I’m not telling you that to sound all noble or anything (insert sarcasm: “really, you’re not going to make bacon for one breakfast?”). I’m just saying it’s nice to have those reminders sometimes.
But I’ll be thinking about Sophie chowing down on her Tender Bites back home.
Ecuadorian Thanksgiving
I can’t imagine a much more memorable Thanksgiving. For several of us, today was our first Thanksgiving in Ecuador. For several more, it was the first Thanksgiving they’d ever celebrated. We had people from (at least) the United States, Canada, Ecuador, Japan and Peru, speaking (at least) English, Spanish, French and Japanese. In fact, three of those countries and all four of those languages were represented at our table alone.
Somewhere around fifty of us got together on Laura and Jorge’s roof to celebrate as traditionally as possible. There was the traditional turkey and gravy and potatoes and cranberry everything and salads. There were also tropical fruits and Marlo’s pesto dip and sushi. The kids all played in the rooftop hot tub and we listened to Andean music interspersed with country and the Black-Eyed Peas.
I have to say it was cool to celebrate such a holiday estadounidense so cross-culturally. I’m also glad we escaped those “let’s go around the table…” exercises that I really should appreciate but just tend to seem cheesy to me. I do, however, have tons of things to be thankful for. The most obvious to me today was the people in my life. There were people there today from so many different backgrounds, and even among the gringos at Youth World, we have different traditions and cultures from different parts of the United States (and elsewhere). I love learning from people, from their backgrounds and perspectives and individual knowledge and stories. I can think of so many people who blow me away constantly with things they’ve done or scripture they know or the ways they practically apply their experience in missions. I love having people to laugh with, people to share ridiculous moments with, people who think sushi on Thanksgiving should continue to be a tradition, people to learn from and grow with, people who love God, and people who are just as eager to teach with their experience as they are to learn with their lives.
I certainly missed my family today. I missed my brother’s goofy (but sincere) prayers, my dad’s laugh, and my mom’s insight (and potato salad… and gravy… and apple pie…). But I got to see several people who I’ve not run into in a long time, including several friends who have been out of Quito, and my friend John Andrew who I met at IT training in Illinois and who has been working in Guayaquil since this summer. And not that my friends here in any way replace the people with whom I’m used to spending Thanksgiving, but I was glad to be surrounded by so many awesome people and to have a chance to spend the day in such a unique way and be able to share that.
Never Know
You never know exactly what’s going to happen around here. It lends itself to great Facebook status ideas. You should all look forward to that whenever the phone company gets around to hooking up the internet connection here.
Yesterday was a lazy morning. I woke up just a little too late to make it to EFC for the early service, and knew I’d destroy everyone’s plans for the day if I went to the late one, so I caught up on reading, writing, and devotional time most of the morning. Lunch was pescado, which is always amazing here. I was even corrected in my manners and specifically told to eat it with my hands (and after I gave in and put down my fork, Lourdes bragged to everyone all day about how Ecuadorian I was). Weekend and holiday meals around here (yesterday fell under both) always mean that both the whole family is here, and usually at least two people from the church. Doña Jimena and her daughter were here to join us for the pescado, and I was invited to go see the place where she and Teresita (my Godson Luis’s sister) work making bricks in the morning to learn all about it. I thought they were kidding.
After lunch I sat down to write, but Marta asked me “Nos acompañas?” (“Will you come with us?”) I wasn’t sure who “us” was or where I’d be accompanying1 them, but since Marta and her mom were on their way down the stairs together, I figured I’d be hanging out with them in the store again.
Turns out we started out going on a walk. I’m not sure if we were intentionally house-hunting to begin with or if it just seemed like a good idea once we started seeing for sale/rent signs around the barrio. Apparently Marta is looking for somewhere to live here in Guajalo (this sector of Quito) to be closer to her family and the store, now that she’s working here. We walked around the neighborhood behind the store, up the hill and around the corner, and I realized we had come up behind Emaús. I actually didn’t know that road kept going all the way around, so I feel like I learned a shortcut to the church. We kept going and crossed over the highway to go up the hill that looks down on the old storefront where Emaús began. We even actually stopped and looked inside one of the houses for rent we found and probably would have checked out some more, but many of the people were gone, I’m guessing for the holiday weekend.
It was early afternoon when we started out, and roughly 6:00 when we came back. I thought the lazy day that I had intended was about to commence, but my phone rang literally five seconds after I’d stepped back into the tienda. It was Cameron, and she was looking for Lourdes. I gave the phone to her, and they talked for less than a minute with Lourdes mostly just saying “Okay… okay… okay…” before she hung up, handed the phone back to me, and headed off upstairs. I decided to just hang around the store, but Marta looked at me skeptically and asked if I was going to go upstairs and change my clothes. Apparently Cameron and Lourdes both thought the other was going to tell me that we’d been invited to Cena at the Vivancos’ house.
I make the distinction that it was cena because here in Ecuador, there is a difference between cena and merienda not totally unlike the distinction between Supper and Dinner in the southern United States. Like supper, merienda is the meal at night, wherever it is, whoever it’s with, and whatever you’re having. The definition of cena borders more on an event. It’s a big holiday dinner or when you have people over. So basically you know to expect a bigger meal than pancitos and coffee.
When we got to Cameron and Roberto’s place, I could hear other people already laughing and talking inside, and I was excited to see Maggi and her kids (Omar, Maria Jose and Gema) and some others from Emaus. We had a great time playing Ker-Plunk and eating dinner, then hanging out together and drinking coffee and taking pictures. I escaped for a few minutes to call my family on the Vonage phone, and then fiddled with the piano with Gema for a while, before we all crammed back into Lourdes’ car with Omar and me in the “trunk” area behind the back seat.
I was somewhat zoned out on the way back, except for some brief periods where Omar was talking to me in English2. During one of those moments, Omar asked me “See where we are?” “Yeah…?” I responded, looking around at the gigantic hill we were on, although not necessarily3 sure where “here” was. He told me it was about a kilometer away from home and we would be walking there in the morning. His mother chimed in at that point “A las ocho.” Great. I not only have to be functional and sociable at eight in the morning, but I’m going to be climbing a stinking mountain. Turns out this would be the adventure to go see the brick business that had been mentioned at lunch.
So this morning I woke up at about 6am to do my devotion and wake up in my room. I listened until most of the noise outside my door stopped, meaning that most everyone was down in the store (sort of like the last couple of semesters of school how I’d wait until everyone else in my house was gone to work or school before I left my bed), took a shower, ate a breakfast so big Lydia would be proud of me (because food kept getting put down in front of me) and somewhere around 8:00 Omar walked upstairs.
We headed off down the street down the house-hunting route, past Emaus, and up the Pan-American highway until at one dirt road indistinguishable to me from the rest, Omar hung a left and we began trekking the steep road that was sometimes paved, but easier to climb when it was only rocks and dirt.
Omar seemed to be handling it a lot better than I was. But about three quarters of the way up he finally groaned a little bit and I didn’t feel so bad about complaining anymore, so I breathlessly said “Yeah, yo soy de la costa.” Omar responded in English, “I’m from here and I’m tired.”
When we finally got there, Jimena let us into the brickyard and went to find Teresita. Teresita then proceeded to explain the process of making bricks to us, and I caught bits and pieces. The mud-walled “oven” where the bricks were baking looked to me about as tall and wide as those prefabricated storage sheds you can buy at Lowe’s or Home Depot, or roughly the size of my bodega at my apartment in the north. It was just four walls about twice as tall as me with a ladder going up to where huge plumes of smoke were rising from the open top. I’m not sure how many bricks I would have thought would have fit in there at one time, but my guessed would have ranged from several hundred to a couple thousand. At some point, Omar asked. “Diez y seis mil,” Teresita responded. My eyes bugged out about as much as Omar’s did, and he could tell he didn’t need to translate that 16,000 bricks were baking right next to us. She also told us that when the bricks are done after two full days, the oven is still so hot that you can cook your meals in it for at least two more days.
We hung out and talked for a little while more before heading back down the mountain. Omar decided we should take the bus on the way back. I think we should have taken the bus on the way there. At any rate, I spent the rest of the morning in the store and shopping with Jose at the Mercado Mayorista (huge market where you can buy in bulk. Basically the Ecuadorian Sam’s Club) and then we closed up for a while to go have lunch, which Adrian had been working on all morning. He showed off his chef’s skills and made chop suey for us, which was fantastic (and I have thus been singing the “Hong Kong Fuey” theme song in my head the rest of the day).
This afternoon has been dedicated to writing and teaching guitar. Except that I lost track of time and suddenly Gabriel was here exactly when he was supposed to be, nothing unexpected happened. And the way things work here, that was probably the most unexpected thing about the long weekend.
1I had no idea that “accompanying” was spelled like that. Thank you, spell check.
2As I told Amalia the other day, “Yo no habla mucho antes de diez en la mañana, y yo no hablo español después de diez en la noche.”
3And by “necessarily,” I actually mean “remotely.”
Saturday in the Store
Last night I ran sound for Gedeón again, and after packing up from the concert, grabbing a quick dinner at El Arbolito (“the little tree”), the only restaurant we could find open in the sector that late at night, and heading back to Av. Brasil to drop off people and instruments at English Fellowship Church, it was roughly 1:00 am when I finally walked through the door of my apartment in the north. So this morning I did something I almost never do here in Quito: slept in until 8:30.
Breakfast and a Trole ride later (the second most packed Trole experience of my life, I might add) I was back in the South at Lourdes’ and not quite sure what the day would hold for me. I had heard that the plan was to play soccer today, but it absolutely poured from lunchtime until just after dark1. Lourdes and José were out when I got here, and the store was busy enough that an extra body would have been more in the way than helpful, so I went upstairs to work on a few of my ongoing projects.
When Lourdes got back, we all had lunch together, including Adrian, who is not usually here in the afternoons because of his work schedule. Adrian finished up quickly and took off to his room. Lourdes explained that he had to go “practice.” About then there was a loud crash from his direction, and Lourdes explained that the restaurant where he works is somewhat on the showy side, and Adrian has to learn to juggle plates. After waking up the entire house the other night (apparently the one night last week I spent in the north) by breaking one of his mother’s dinner plates during a late night practice, he’s switched to plastic plates at home.
After lunch, Lourdes and José headed out to do some more shopping, looking for a couple of pieces of furniture for the new place. Adrian and Erica (Marta’s daughter) both had to go to work, so I was asked to hang out in the store with Marta. It didn’t turn out to be an extremely busy day, probably because of the ridiculous amount of rain (even for Quito right now). So Marta put me to work, measuring out 2- and 5-pound bags of rice and sugar, pricing, sorting, and shelving them. While we worked, she talked about the upcoming holidays and asked me about my family and about living in Quito, correcting my Spanish and always remembering exactly where I’d left off every time a customer interrupted our conversation.
Tomorrow will possibly be a soccer day, and I know the big Sunday meal is going to be pescado and I’m pretty stoked about it. Otherwise, I haven’t the faintest idea what the rest of the long weekend is going to hold2. Tomorrow is All Saints’ Day, Monday is Día de Los Difuntos, and Tuesday is Cuenca Independence Day3.
1Though we didn’t play, rain doesn’t necessarily stop anyone else. Cigarette Boy (see Oct 27 post) came in a little early today in his soccer shorts and jersey, totally drenched, and got some crackers in addition to his usual purchase.
2See Dana Artinger’s latest blog entry for the descriptions of the holidays that I’m too lazy to write myself.
3There are roughly a billion Independence Days over the course of the year in Ecuador. Because this isn’t the one for our city, it’s pretty much just a day off here in Quito.