This Ruins "Never Have I Ever"

Just to preface this, I’m fine now, don’t freak out.

So I’m sitting in class yesterday and we’d just started. I was pretty much just sitting there copying contact information onto the syllabus and taking notes on what little we talked about the first day. About five minutes into class, my side starts hurting.

It felt like a cramp, except a lot worse. However I sat, hunched over my notes, stretched out in the lab chair, or anything between, it still hurt. Worse, it began to hurt to breathe. If I took a fairly deep breath and then held it, it wasn’t so bad, but breathing out was no fun at all. For the next hour and fifteen minutes (and then some… of course the professor ran over) I just had to do my best to stick it out. Becuase to top it all of, it was the first day of class and I was determined not to walk out; even if it hadn’t been, I would have had to have been in more pain to walk out of a class taught by the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences. (But only slightly more pain).

They ask you at the Doctor’s office “how bad does it hurt” with those smiley/frowny face drawings numbered 0-5 with 5 being the worst pain you’d ever felt in your life. If someone had asked me that on the way home, I’d have said a 4. While I was on the phone with my mom, I’d have said a 5. Just sucking enough air into my lungs to breathe enough to speak shot pain up my entire side. Since I was halfway home by the time I decided it was that bad and called my mom, she told me to get there as fast as I could and she’d take me back the the Emergency Room.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have been driving, especially because Albemarle Hospital is right next to COA.

Long story short, I was there for about 4½ hours, taking X-Rays and other fun stuff, worrying about whether it was a kidney stones, appendicitis, or some crazy Ecuadorian parasite. Turns out I pulled a muscle in my back.

According the the ER doctor, the back is “poorly designed” (I think God might take issue with that statement) and it’s really easy to mess stuff up there (though even he admitted it’s pretty weird to just be sitting in class and have pain shoot through your side for no apparent reason).

I’ve got prescription strength muscle relaxers and Motrin on my bookshelf now and I’m getting pretty bored laying around. It still hurts to breathe, but not like yesterday, and I’m hoping to be up and running by Sunday.

The whole point of writing this is so that nobody can say “Why didn’t you tell me you went to the Emergency Room!?” And daggone it, next time I play “Never have I ever…” I’ll have to come up with a new “good one.” Mine used to be “…gone to the Emergency Room.”

The Nosedive Five

EDIT: This is actually being posted nearly two months later. It’s been sitting unfinished in my drafts folder for all that time, and though I don’t feel like I can do it any more justice than I could when I started writing it, I wanted this day to be recorded.

Travel Day: 8
On Ground Day: 6
Nicole’s Birthday
Final Day

This morning was early. Granted, we are used to that, and I would have rolled over semi-consciously when the stupid roosters started crowing anyway. But seriously having to roll out of bed at 4:00 AM and go to the kitchen would not have been on my to-do list of choice if I’d written the schedule for our eighth day in the jungle.

Breakfast meant seeing the kids for the last time. They came in basically in the dark and still sang their pre-meal songs and prayers. We definitely have our system down pat by now, and since some of the kids left last night, there was only one super-fast breakfast shift, another hearty meal of the brown sardine mush that makes me praise God for Chet’s dwindling supply of Nutri-Grain bars and sick at the thought that some of these kids are 5 years old and they are hiking for up to a day or more and probably will eat nothing else on the trip home.

That thought just kept slamming me as I watched groups trickle out into the jungle, mostly groups of tiny kids with one adult guide per group. And I was sympathetic before it started raining. And raining. And raining.

The gringos went back to the church to begin packing up. Chet handed out beef jerky to the guys before the girls came over. I’m really glad that he can’t go for days straight on yuca and rice either. Fabian sat singing “His Cheeseburger” from Veggietales and peeling us grapefruit, putting a candle-sized hole in one for Nicole. I’ve had weird birthdays. My 16th and 19th stick out in that regard. But Nicole’s a candle-topped jungle grapefruit takes the cake (no pun intended).

Chet talked to us for a while about the rain. The original plan was for us to go and bail out the runway with cups from the kitchen so that the water wouldn’t stop the planes from landing.

For emphasis and so that you know I’m not kidding, let me just say that again. We were going to go and bail out the runway with cups from the kitchen so that the water wouldn’t stop the planes from landing.

He also mentioned the possibility of planes not getting out, and that the order of flights would be two Ecuadorian groups (including Giberto (sp?), whose wife just had a baby back home), three gringo flights (Chet’s group being last) and then the rest of Rey’s crew. As a bit of foreshadowing… flex and flow, right?

As it turned out, Rey and Palabra de Vida wanted to give us a break. I don’t think I could have felt more appreciated (as I tried also not to feel guilty) for our work than by walking to Toca’s house down the runway as the Ecuadorians seriously did bail out the runway with coffee cups as the bit of afternoon sun helped to clear it up a little. Looking down at the still soaked and muddy landing strip and up at the 80%-gray, cloud-covered sky as we trekked to lunch with the Vice President, I was already skeptical that eight flights would get in to Toñamparé, much less out.

We were all pretty tired, and there wasn’t much talking over the delicious arroz con pollo. Sarah even had to jab Teddy a couple of times for that whole facial expression thing (as he can’t express himself of Wao) so he didn’t look like he hated the meal as he sat staring blankly into space from exhaustion.

Hiking was another one of those things that just would not have been in my own plans, but as it turned out, getting a lesson in jungle flora and fauna was pretty sweet, and so was standing by the beautiful, gigantic waterfall when we got to the end of our jungle journey. And somewhere in the discussion on the way back, Toca decided he’d teach us to shoot the blow gun. The big one. (As in “Keep-out-of-reach-of-chiiiiiildren.”) He set up a watermelon, and I just about hit it, and most of the guys came close. Necia and Danielle didn’t do bad either, but Jerry nailed the thing. I don’t think many gringos do that (though I don’t know how many non-Huaorani other than Chet they’d let try).

By that time, Chet decided that we couldn’t hang any longer or we’d be cutting it too close on the planes. We made it back to the church and actually part-way back to town when we heard the first engine in the sky. We RAN. I’m stunned we actually got all our belongings into various backpacks and Williams’ adventure racing bags, especially in so little time, and all of us were back at the other end of the landing strip as the first planes took off and the second set got ready.

That was the two Ecuadorian flights, and the first gringo flight did get out with Jerry, Necia, Matt and Angela. Next was supposed to be Teddy, Nicole Lane, Danielle and me. Somehow we switched with Chet, Fabian, Bryan, Sarah and Dana, and then again at the last moment, Dana and Nicole switched. Praise God- this turned into another birthday present for Nicole and a very much needed Spanish speaker in our group. She thought she’d just be the translator for the pilot, and I also think she might even have had the foresight to realize that another plane was NOT getting out. I should have known that after seeing a North American pilot scream in Spanish at an Ecuadorian pilot who had sat on the ground for 30 minutes and knowing how concerned he was as our time was being gambled against the ever-darkening weather.

Chet turned to us as it began to rain (having been misinformed that our plane was already in the air from Shell) and said “See you in Shell.” To give you an idea how confused things were already, the pilot (coincidentally named “Dan”) turned to him with a strange look and said “You’re going to Arahuno.” Chet’s smile faded just slightly, but he shrugged and said “Okay.” As he hopped into the cabin.

As the five gringos and Fabian faded into the looming clouds, we heard our last airplane engine for the night. That was it. There were no more planes leaving the ground, and in fact, we found out later that the ones in the air were disallowed to land in Shell, having to make instrument landings in Arahuno. The pilots used our sleeping pads to crash in the cargo areas of their planes.

Forgive me for the consistent redundancy in this post, but here’s that statement again: The pilots used our sleeping pads to crash in the cargo areas of their planes. That meant that our sleeping pads were in Arahuno, and we were in Toñamparé.

It was a pretty sad moment for us as we unpacked again, Teddy, Lane and I in the church (praise God we didn’t cut our lines and could re-hang our mosquito nets) and Dana and Danielle back in the house across from us. After that we walked back down the runway for the beginning of at least the fourth round trip to town that day. We felt appreciated again though, as the Ecuadorians did the “ritual of the rain” for us as we entered the kitchen and made us sit and be served first. And as for dinner, at least we got eggs again. My mom will think I’m crazy when I start putting eggs on my rice at home, but it was delicious.

We went back to the church and Dana went right into Maestra mode. Or maybe mom mode. Or at this point I’m just thinking that’s Dana’s all-the-time mode. We went around the circle of the five of us and talked about or feelings. Amazingly, all five of us had already worked out exactly why we were there, why God picked us at the five to be left behind (the “Nosedive Five” as Teddy named us), the individuals who needed to learn a specific lesson. All of us had different reasons, and all of us were pretty honest about it, to the point that it wasn’t hard for me to open up and express myself at all, and that I could gain a newfound respect for two people in the group, and an unexpected friendship with another. I doubt that that conversation will ever leave that circle, if only because there is absolutely no one who could understand it without being there. We say that a lot about experiences with Youth World and Ecuador, but this is one that I will not even attempt.

I played guitar in the dark and prayed to close us out, and it was cool to have five musically talented gringos singing praises and choosing joy despite the ridiculous circumstances. I realized about halfway through my favorite song of all time that we were probably waking up Dayuma next door and tried to keep it down, but just couldn’t help it. That will go down as one of my favorite and most meaningful worship experiences ever.

Get out of my tire, Satan

So I’m driving home from COA this afternoon after a long process of trying to do a good deed for my brother. Turning off Road Street1 onto Ehringhaus Street I hear and feel a pop-KA-thunk. No seriously. That’s what it did. Pop-KA-thunk.

I made it back to Riverwind (having already decided my tire was going flat) before I gave up denying I couldn’t make it all the way home.

After a slightly stressful process2 of getting the tire changed and driving over to Merchant’s Tire and waiting for a new tire (BIG slash, had to be replaced), the guy there just grins at us at the register and says “We had an issue with your car.” Sounded scary. But he was grinning. The “issue” was what they pulled out of my tire. Nobody there had ever seen anything this size puncture and STAY IN a tire before.

See image below. And yes, that is a breakpad.3

The break pad that popped my tire

Although it didn’t screw up my day too terribly, the whole process did make me miss both La Casa at Christ Episcopal and the youth praise band that Adam and I are helping start and lead at First Baptist. Dissapointing. I miss my “chillins”. But I did learn a great deal of patience and acceptance out of this deal. And if I have to walk to La Casa next week I will.

1For those of you not from Elizabeth City, yes, someone actually named a road “Road Street”. That’s just how we do in “No’f Ca-liiina”.

2I say “slightly” stressful because I just decided to be calm about it. Besides finally realizing “Eh, what can you do?”… if there is a non-terrible time to get a flat tire, it’s on your day off and in a safe, non-busy, familiar place.

3No, it was not mine. I asked, and I went over to Jerry at NAPA and he pulled out a set of ’96 Maxima break pads which were not the same.

I guess "spooning" was taken

I realized tonight that I’ve become old. The stuff I did in high school is apparently no longer as cool as it used to be. Putting the school up for sale and rolling people’s cars have been ousted as the popular pranks. By what you ask?

Forking.

I was minding my business and talking to a load of lovely ladies online when, long story short… I discover Lydia, Rachel, Lucas, and 3 more Woods attempting to fork my yard. If you’re not familiar with this jovial new sport, just imagine your yard flamingoed. Now change those unsightly avians to disposable eating utensils. That’s right. Your imagination has just been forked.

Fortunately I was able to foil this plot with less effort than picking up 8 gas stations’ worth of throwaway dinnerware. And it gave me something to write about.

The moral of the story: stay awake longer than potential prankers.

Confunded

Well, I wrote a pretty nicely sized piece about the Fourth of July the other day and it seemed to have disappeared. Until I just discovered I’m silly and hit “Save” instead of “Publish”. So it’s up 5 days late now.
If you’re reading this on wordpress, cool. If you’re reading it on my new start page, cooler. I’m figuring out this whole RSS include thing and they’re pretty sweet. Makes me feel a little hackerish again. That’s basically it for now. Nothing really to report on other than one month left being at Goody’s all the time and that Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest was pretty darn good. Needed more interaction between characters and less creatures, but otherwise pretty sweet.