I Live In A Time Warp

Gina said one of the team members told her the other day that it felt like they’d just gotten here, and yet it felt like they’d been here forever. In my experience, Quito Quest is always like that. Especially when it’s less than two weeks on the ground, which is the teams. And especially when you’re used to longer stints, which is me.

The weekend before I got on a plane to come back down here, I couldn’t get it to seem real. Despite the number of times I’ve come and gone, and that I’ve done it on short notice before, I couldn’t get it to sink in until I walked up to the immigration agent and smiled and said “No,” when he asked me, “Primera vez en Ecuador?” Now I’m sitting in bed listening to planes take off and I can at least get that far. I realize I’m leaving. But it doesn’t seem real that in 33 hours I’ll be at work in Elizabeth City. It’s like I live in a series of time warps.

The time with the team just whizzed by, especially once we came back to Quito from the jungle. And then there were moments that just seemed to stand still. The bad ones, sure, like that split second where you know you’re about to throw up and you’re dreading and begging for it at once. Or the really great ones, where you’re spinning around as fast as you can with a five-year-old stretched out, hanging on to your hands, perpendicular to the ground and just giggling from his belly, Spider-man flip-flops flung right off his feet.

Tomorrow I’m going to want to go back in time to do it all over again and spend a few more precious days with 26 Canadians I didn’t know two weeks ago. And despite not wanting it to be over, right now I want to just skip the next couple of days, especially the one involving travel, so I can just see now what my fruit will begin to look like in my life in the U.S.

I’m leaving my home. And I’m headed home. It doesn’t seem real, and it doesn’t seem like near enough time to do all that’s been done, or enough to already be over. In the wise words of one of my favorite animated fish, “It’s a complicated emotion.”

Baptisms

I have heard and given orientations over and over about short-term missions being so much more than rich, white, North Americans going out to the rest of the world and “taking Jesus” with them. And yet hosting a team, it can still be easy to forget that this type of ministry is just as much to the team members as it is to the population of Ecuador.

It was a really sweet reminder, then, to have one of our team members say during the week that she wanted to be baptized in the river in Shandia, to have three more youth decide that morning that they were ready as well, and to have one of our adult leaders obey Jesus’ command to be baptized as we walked down to the river.

It was also amazing to me to be a small part of that. It’s easy to see how God uses other people in your own faith journey, but I got to have a conversation with one of our guys, who thanked me for what I’d said to him as he walked toward to water to outwardly express his commitment to God. I always used to get annoyed at those people who just wouldn’t take credit for anything and say “that’s not me, it’s all God.” And I laughed at myself in my head as those words came out of my mouth, because I was so surprised that in the span of about five minutes my friend’s attitude and words went from “I’m not there yet,” to “There’s no time like the present.” Yay, God.

 







Appreciating

Hosting a Quito Quest team, you always have at least one partner. This time around, I’m working with Jose Luis. This has been really awesome, because we know each other really well, he was willing to do finances, and any number of other reasons related to the fact that he’s a really great guy. But he wasn’t here for a big chunk of today.

I totally understood he had some major things to do today, and I’ve hosted enough teams that I can function on my own. Neither of those things meant it was easy. And I could have spent the afternoon being mad, but after all these years of Quito Quest, my natural instinct was just to miss having a buddy and appreciate everything he does. Because no matter how much experience you have, there are just way too many things for one person to remember, much less accomplish at 100%

Doing all of the host duties today also made me retroactively appreciate things other partners have taught me. How Sarah was always thinking about what was next. How Darío just faced conflict head-on. How other people have taught me to be a more effective decision-maker, leader, translator, and friend.

I also appreciated a lot of the “first day” activities. Maybe because it’s very close to the beginning of my own time here. But I saw the juxtaposition between the art and the statues and the insane amount of gold inside Iglesia San Francisco and the poverty directly outside. And it reminds me exactly why we are so intentional about the way we do ministry here. And on my umpteenth hearing of the Partnership Orientation, I still appreciated being reminded of the process I’m going through even now on my way to making this a fruitful experience.

Thoughts on Transition

I am not a morning person at all. But for some reason, no matter how tired I am and how long I’ve been traveling, I have this amazing inability to sleep past 7:00 in Quito. You would think it’s just the extra noise or the sunlight, but I haven’t woken up grumpy about either of those things in a very long time. This is one of the places where I also never wake up and think “where the heck am I?” on the first morning, despite the fact that I am almost always staying in a new place. So here I am blogging it up at 6:45am.

I know that I am going to see a lot of people who are near and dear to me today. And eat a whole lot of delicious food. And as I wrote yesterday, I’m excited. But I’m also really thankful for the transition time. I told somebody at home the other day that I was just not yet in the mindset of hosting a team. So maybe after a day of enjoying friends and fun stuff, I’ll feel ready for meetings and shopping and airport runs and orientations tomorrow.

That’s actually been my ongoing prayer in the last few days. I want to be prepared to host the team. And that’s being “all here.” I’m going to miss my youth and be wondering how things are going. I’ve got some alarms set to make some phone calls to the U.S. I’m not going to completely block out my life at home. But I can’t worry about all of my plans at home for this time and try to micromanage it from another continent.

And I also have to give my full attention to the 26 people whose lives are my responsibility for the next two weeks. Yes, that’s a dramatic way of putting it, but it’s a good reminder to me. I’m excited to get to know and work with them and see all that God does in and through them while they’re on field. But I hope and pray here in my transitional day that I am ready to be an effective, supportive, prepared and faithful host for them.

Travelling Excitement

I still don’t think it’s fully hit me that in just over 7 hours I’ll be in Ecuador. I know it in my head, and clearly I’ve been planning for this for weeks, but it just continues to be a surreal kind of day.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. I always know that I’ll be unable to sleep the night before a big travel day like this, so I’m just in the habit of staying up. It’s part of my ritual to go to Wal-Mart at 1:00am for any last things I’ll need, and then to just stay awake cramming my luggage full of food and clothes and my phone full of movies. I slept from about 3-4 am, and then maybe twenty minutes in the car, and not at all on the first flight. So I’ll admit to being just slightly loopy at this point in the day.

Among the loopy things I’ve done today, despite how I like to brag what an expert traveller I am, I realized at the Norfolk airport that they didn’t print a boarding pass for my second flight. And I just didn’t worry about it. But I didn’t think about the fact that I ALWAYS have to go through security a second time in Miami and that I’d need it. Fortunately, when I got here I just pulled up the mobile version on my iPhone and cruised on through. Unfortunately, my terminal didn’t have a TSA agent with a scanner, so I had to trek back up a concourse and convince another TSA agent that I really did know where I was going once he let me through the checkpoint.

While I’m on that train of thought though, Miami seriously needs to connect concourses D and J in some kind of better way than what they’ve got. Because EVERY time I’m here I go from Concourse D to Concourse J. Every time. And every time, I have to leave the secure area, walk 7.2 Bajillion miles (that’s 11.58 Bajillion kilometers) and then go through security again. This time I was glad that construction didn’t detour me outside, but not so happy about the Dr. Pepper I bought in the airport and then forgot was in my book bag (the TSA wasn’t really happy about that either… but I made it through after several minutes enduring yelling, lecturing, grumpy faces and finger wagging).

So now I’m finally sitting at my gate, trying to decide if I should stay awake for the two hours I have left to kill. I’m excited about seeing all of my friends in Quito, about working for Youth World again for a couple weeks, about hosting a team and serving God in Shandia. But like I said, it’s just surreal. 12 hours ago I was in Wal-Mart in Elizabeth City. And here I am in a city that seems like a foreign country, getting ready to board an international flight to a foreign country that feels like home.

Most of the time I have a point. Not today. But that’s where my mind is right now.

Be Here Now

I’m a planner. A list maker. Someone who is always worried about something other than what I’m doing, in a young Obi-Wan sort of way. Part of that is just who I am. Part of it is Sarah Miller’s voice in my head telling me to be always thinking of the next step. And it’s great that I had my plans for UMYF in March worked out three weeks ago.

But there are also times when I can just be a little kid giving into the excitement of the next great thing I get to do. And that’s why I’ve been keeping one of the sayings/rules of El Refugio in my mind over the last few days. “Be here now.” Because what I’m doing at any given time can be pretty important. I still have 9 hours of work tomorrow and a church council meeting, and prep work for youth and shopping and packing and tons of smaller things to accomplish before I get on a plane on Tuesday. Yet it’s really hard to not be thinking about that plane ride already, or all the people that I get to see, and all the amazing things that are going to be accomplished during my time with the Kortright team in Quito and Shandia.

Sometimes it’s just lot of work to worry about what’s going on in front of my instead of what’s on my calendar.

Altar Calls

There are a lot of things I’ve struggled with in ministry over the years. And sometimes I’ll have a problem with something that’s done in a worship service and then over time come to embrace it for one reason or another. Altar Calls are one of those things.

We’re at Beach Retreat right now and usually on trips like this the speaker will end their last session right before Communion with the “dedicate your life to the Lord and raise your hand and repeat this prayer after me” kind of deals. A former co-worker of mine described his distaste for this sort of thing by saying that though he understood the “necessity” of formally giving people that chance, that Altar Calls were just too easy. You’re on a spiritual and emotional high and separated from “real life,” and there are other people around you putting up their hands and you just sort of do what you’re supposed to, and well-meaning as you are during that mountaintop experience, it’s all the time afterward that counts, and those are the moments where it’s a lot harder to remain dedicated to God.

That was my feeling for a long time too. Partially because my friend vocalized this so well, and probably also due to my traditional worship background where hand raising was frowned upon.  If you hadn’t picked up on the tone of this post yet though, my attitude has changed over time, and even drastically tonight.

Between our weekend speaker and our musical guests tonight, there were really two Altar Calls woven into today’s session. And that’s what’s so cool. Both that they were woven into what was going on otherwise, and that they happened on the first night. At the beginning of what is going on here.

It made me think of a lesson I did a couple weeks ago with our grout about staying connected to God and realizing that sin is the very stuff that gets in the way of that relationship. How we have to just throw away the junk to be able to get down to worship, and to get down to just being in right relationship with our Creator. So many times people get up from that Altar Call just varying their eyes out, because we spend a lot of that prayer admitting to and getting over the bad stuff in our lives so we can accept the good and the forgiveness and the Grace of God. So here we were the first night doing just that, but not looking at going home tomorrow, but heading into a day of worship. A weekend continuing to plug in with God.

Does it make it any less easy to say “yes” during an Altar Call? No. Does that mean they’re inherently flawed? No. We are.  It’s easy to say you commit on a short term mission. At New Year’s. When people are looking on. When the problem is right in front of you. When it’s popular. When the pressure’s on. Timing is not the only thing wrong with a typical Altar Call. But even changing that one aspect of it makes me see the value of it. I can say now that Altar Calls are necessary without being so grudging.

Hacking (the good kind)

I’m one of the people nerdy enough to have ready the “Mark Zuckerberg manifesto” in the Facebook IPO filing today. In case you weren’t, he mentioned the negative connotation that exists of the word “hacking” and how really it just refers to problem-solving and building that needs to be quick and tends to be inelegant, but gets the job done nonetheless.  And twice in the last week I’ve referred to myself as a hacker out of pride for fixing a problem, not because I’ve broken into a system to which I shouldn’t have had access1. So I’m going to brag about them here. Partly because of that pride. But mostly because I agree with Zuckerberg’s ideas about sharing information, and this might help some of the less-computer-savvy people out there get into a wireless router one day, and because I had a very specific problem with iTunes/iOS/AppleTV/Airplay/ and Windows 7 tonight that hardly anyone else has written about.

The Router

We were skiing at Wintergreen last week, staying in houses up there for the long weekend, and there was a router in the room. The TV was getting it’s cable access through this router, and there was an RJ45 connection on the back (the plug for an ethernet/network cable) and it had blinking lights for internet and wireless, so it would clearly give me access to the internet on my iPad.When I looked up available connections, the router was even named with our room number to make it clearly identifiable. However, it was secured, and the password was not included in our guest information, and was not printed on the router itself. (Helpful hint if you are ever trying to do this: many times the default password is clearly marked on the router itself, or is the serial number of the route. In my case I was not so lucky).  Fortunately I also had a laptop with me and while I don’t carry a network cable around with me anymore, there was one in a kitchen drawer.

I hooked up to the router with my computer via the network cable, and went to my browser (in this case Firefox), typing in 192.168.0.1 in the address bar. There are other addresses that it could have been, but I got lucky with my first try and Motorola uses this as their default IP address for their routers. The browser opened up the page for the router, but it required another login. While any computer physically plugged into the router can access it, this second layer of security is designed to keep out people like me who are not the actual owners of the router. Fortunately, it does absolutely no good if you leave the router login set to the defaults. I guessed the user name to be “admin” and the password to be “password” and then “root” and then left it blank, as these are all typical defaults. No dice. But since I had internet access via the network cable, I opened a new tab, did a Google search for the Motorola router default login. Turns out in this case, I was right about the user name, and the password should have been my next guess: “motorola.” Bingo, now I had access.

It took a little looking around before I found the right tab. The Motorola interface was unfamiliar to me, but once I clicked through to the correct page for wireless settings, I found the place to change the wireless access password. Now, I could have simply changed it so I would know it. Or I could have disabled the security altogether. But I didn’t want to make a change that I might either forget to change back, or be unable to change back. So I did something even simpler. I unchecked the box under the password that gives the option to “hide characters.” The password popped up, I called out the 10 digits to my roommates, and all four of us were online on iPhones/iPads in another 60 seconds. Without calling the front desk, without making any changes the owners would notice.

The Apple TV

I have an Apple TV. I got it to play my iTunes content (collected because I wanted to watch current shows that I couldn’t otherwise get in Ecuador and because I enjoy taking advantage of my legal right to a digital backup copy of the physical discs I own) on an actual TV, and realized a few days later that I could also use it as an Airplay speaker. I like to be able to wander around and have my music following me, so I take advantage of this all the time to play the same music on my computer and the Apple TV. But I noticed today that when I attempted this for the first time after updating to iTunes 10.5, it didn’t work. I spent a few minutes diagnosing the problem. My computer (running Windows 7) had access to the local network and to the internet. My Apple TV had access also to the internet and strangely enough to the rest of the network including my computer and iTunes content. It would still stream content from my computer wirelessly over the network when I gave it that command from the remote control. But it would simply not work for the specific task of being an Airplay speaker when selected from my computer. These two tasks seemed so similar I could not think why it would not work, especially since iTunes was recognizing it as an Airplay device and an option for my available speakers, but giving me an error message anyway.

The error message told me it was “unknown” and gave me a number of “-15000,” so I Googled something like “iTunes Apple TV error -15000.”  Nothing helpful. I tried it without the minus sign, since this is an old-school modifier for search engine results, but still nothing helpful. So then I added some more useful information. My search ended up including “iTunes 10” “Windows 7” “Apple TV” “Airplay” and “unknown error” and several other things. But after scanning the URLs of the search hits so that I could ignore all the useless official Apple support pages, I stumbled upon somebody with the exact same problem on a PC (the solution for similar problems on a Mac was interesting, and involved the way Macs implement IPv6, but didn’t help me) who published his fix for it.

It turns out the cause is the instructions that iTunes gives to Windows apparently can get mixed up during an update from an older version of the software. That’s what happened here, with the instructions to Windows Firewall about the UDP port being incorrect (the UDP port is basically the place and the method by which iTunes communicates in real-time with Airplay devices, in this case the Apple TV). I had to open the Advanced Settings of Windows Firewall and found the instruction set for iTunes within the “Inbound Rules.” There were three separate ones, so I checked out the properties of each one. The first two were about TCP ports (not used for Airplay because they are based on getting all the information in order, rather than getting the information continuously, for a streaming application) so I accessed the third option and checked the box for “Private” networks. Apparently Windows Firewall was only applying the rule (“allow”) to communication from the Apple TV if it came in over a network connection designated as “Public,”  which my home network is definitely not labelled2.

Immediately after the Firewall-related windows were OK‘ed and closed, I clicked “multiple speakers”  and then “Apple TV” in iTunes, a viola, music from two sets of speakers.

Two problems solved. Nothing insanely hard, and technically no unauthorized access to other systems, but hacking nonetheless.

1I’m not entirely sure I was intended to have access to the wireless internet in the room where we stayed at Wintergreen. There was nothing anywhere telling us the password. This is why I resorted to hacking before calling the front desk and risking being told that the internet was only for the owners and that’s why they didn’t print the network key anywhere. But when there’s a router and a network cable that I can easily access, I interpret that as permission.

2If you tried to do to my router what I did to the one at Wintergreen, you would fail miserably because the router password has been changed from the default. I’d recommend doing this if you don’t want someone like me accessing the  network at your beach/mountain cottage. I still could have done it, though. I’d just had to have left a trace by using the physical reset button on the router. And I was desperate enough for communication with the outside world that I would have done it. We’d switched around rooms, so Alison’s name was on the list instead of mine anyway.