Since the day before the team arrived, I’ve been a little under the weather. I wrote about altitude affecting me by making me tired. But it can also occasionally cause some digestive issues. In 9 years, I’ve never had that problem, but apparently I do this week (EDIT: turns out I actually got an intestinal infection. Awesome!) At any rate, it sucks. And it’s sucking energy out of me, not being able to keep food in my system.
The other fun thing about this situation is that I’ve been up every few hours during the night, so I’m way low on sleep since I’ve been here. I can function when I’m sick. I can function without food. But since my first summer here I’ve known that I just don’t function well when I don’t sleep.
In the States I can pretty easily just decide “I can work from home today.” But when your job is translating and going on home visits and transporting people and paying for food, you can’t really Skype in for that. So my first couple of days with this team have been somewhat uncomfortable. I gave somewhat lethargic orientations at the Basilica and at Plaza San Francisco, and I’ve been doing all I can to take it easy in Argelia Alta (including taking a couple hours off this morning to go to the doctor for the first time ever in Ecuador). I don’t like not feeling like me when I’m with the team. And I thoroughly dislike feeling like I’m less than capable of doing the job that I’m here to do.
But one of our team members said something tonight at debrief that struck me. She was speaking in terms of cultural adjustments, but her advice to herself and to the rest of us was “Be yourself even when you’re uncomfortable.”
Yes, being sick really bites. And as I’ve been getting better I’ve described it as feeling “more like me.” But I get to choose to be me however I feel. And I’m glad that I took that opportunity at a few points. Full of or lacking in energy, I did stick with the team as much as possible, and I do feel like Quito Quest is one of those things that makes me me. And still not at 100%, I can choose to be me. I can choose to find my identity and my outlook in Christ instead of in this sickness and how it has physically made me feel. I’m not saying I’m great at making that choice. But in a new way, I’m aware of my ability to keep making that choice now.
